Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Isabelle's Birth Story

*Warning - long winded story here. Wanted to get all the details down so I would remember later as some pieces are already fuzzy!

Our sweet little miracle finally decided to arrive on June 22, 2014 at 6:57pm weighing in at 9.5 lbs and 21 inches long. There aren't words created that can even attempt to explain how happy she has made us and how life changing the whole experience has been. We are definitely those typical doting parents that are just way too proud of their newborn and madly in love!

The day of our first wedding anniversary (6/21/14) I woke up feeling completely "normal". 10 months pregnant and two days past our due date, so as normal as possible all things considered. Because of my obvious condition I was lacking a little bit of energy but gathered enough to go for a walk through a local park.

It felt so good to be outside and to be active. No pains but looking back I remember feeling abnormally worn out and a little achy in my back. So when we got home I took a quick nap and then we decided to go out for an anniversary dinner. Nate was so sweet - he wanted to make it perfectly clear that it would be more than acceptable to stay in but I was determined to at least go to a nice dinner since we didn't really do anything else for our anniversary. While getting ready my back really started aching again. I thought I just over did it on the walk and kept going.

Nate made reservations for us at Chef Geoff's, a restaurant in DC where we had our first official date. On the way there the back pains started to intensify and no matter what position I sat they seemed to be reoccurring. I didn't want to tell Nate though for fear that he'd turn the car around and insist I rest instead. We got to dinner and they got worse. I looked at the clock and realized it was happening every 15-20 minutes. Finally it got to a point that I couldn't hide it from Nate and he of course insisted we cancel and head home. My stubborn self said no, we were already there, let's celebrate and enjoy the meal. I tried to convince myself it wasn't happening. It's all in my back, it can't be contractions. No logical sense in that argument, but in the moment it worked for me and I tried to enjoy the meal as best as I could. We made it through dinner and sadly I could not wait to get home as the "pains" were getting pretty bad and definitely down to every 15 minutes.

Still in denial, I decided a warm bath would help soothe these simple pregnancy pains. Nate played his guitar for me while I soaked, giving a great distraction and helped me relax. Unfortunately, those pains just wouldn't stop. I called my mom and she excitedly said "yay you're in labor, I'm on my way over!" I tried to argue - no, they're not contractions, it's all in my back to which of course my mom said duh, that's called back labor. Oh man. Was I ready? No. Did it matter? No. Again, any way I can delay or avoid this? No. I looked at Nate and said I think it's starting. We both took a deep breath and then he started running around the house preparing all the final details while I think I just walked in 10 circles in our bedroom trying to keep control.

Our bags were packed, we were ready to go but now all that was left was to wait until the contractions got to be 5 minutes apart. Not a fun waiting game! Sent Nate to bed so that he could get some good sleep since it was going to be his last for a while. I stayed downstairs on the couch and my mom wouldn't leave my side, despite me trying to tell her to get some sleep too. I found simple stretching and walking around the house helpful as the contractions intensified and became more frequent. Focused on breathing through the contractions and avoiding letting my body tense up which would quickly wear me out. Harder than I expected, but was still able to do it through the rest of the labor process.

Right around 5am I was getting really worn out and the contractions were down to about 5 minutes apart. Mom suggested we walk outside and do some squats during the contractions. We woke Nate up so that they could be on either side and help me up after each squat. I'm sure we were quite the scene for anyone who happened to be up and looking out their window but it sure was a big help. Plus it started drizzling which to my overheated self felt amazing while Mom and Nate shivered.

When the contractions continued to be 5 minutes apart for over an hour I finally gave in and called the doctor. They requested I come in for evaluation and we were on our way at 7am. Nate dropped me off at the entrance while he and mom parked the cars. I remember sitting there clutching my pillow during the contractions while a nurse was walking in to start her shift. She asked if I was ok and I said of course through clenched teeth - really convincingly I'm sure! Probably looked like quite the mess and by the time Nate and Mom walked up there was a security guard walking out with a wheelchair for me. During evaluation we learned I was dilated to a 3 and because of the frequency of the contractions they decided to admit me. I would've preferred to have been sent home but after 12 hours of labor at home I was in a weird way relieved to be at the hospital. In a way it made me feel like since we were there things would progress faster. Little did I know how wrong and right that was.

We finally got settled into our labor and delivery room, met our nurse Naomi, and after looking around the room I became petrified. Until we got in that room I was still in denial. At that point it was all sinking in. Nate continued to make the phone calls/texts to family and friends (his parents started their drive from MI) and everyone was so excited. I was not. I was eager but I was more scared out of my mind. Next we started talking birth plan with Naomi. Our birth plan consisted of small things and one main goal - survive. We wanted me and the baby to be healthy and whatever it took to get there. Not wanting to pretend I'm super strong I made it clear I wanted the epidural. I will be the first to admit I am a bit of a wimp when it comes to pain. I didn't want it "too early" though so I said when I'm dilated to a 6(ish) is about the time I would want it (7 is the cutoff anyway). We then learned Dr. Siegel (delivery doc) was coming off a 22 hour shift and was exhausted so he was heading home for a quick shower and regrouping and would check in with us later. Great. An exhausted doctor. Probably could've done without knowing that little detail.

Hours went by. We walked the halls, found counter pressure to be my very best friend during the contractions and continued to have nothing but back labor the entire time. I hated when I had to be monitored. You're tied down to the bed and have to lay relatively still so the monitors don't get knocked around making the nurses think the baby's heartbeat stopped (that happened a few times).

A short while later Siegel comes walking in wearing normal clothes, flip flops and looks like he just got two full days of sleep and relaxation. Made me feel a little better about his previous 22 hour shift not affecting my delivery. He has a very casual, matter of fact arrogance that is somewhat annoying and comforting at the same time. He offered pain medication before the epidural but I told him I was holding out for the epidural and the right timing. Not sure if his look said "ok idiot" or "good for you".

In the hours that followed I became less brave and more worn out. The contractions were intensifying by the minute and were only minutes apart. I finally asked if it was time for the epidural. Naomi called Siegel and he asked her to do the exam as he was busy. She did and it was the most painful exam I could imagine. This definitely wasn't my first one and while they're uncomfortable I've never had them physically hurt and I mean this one hurt like hell. Little foreshadowing of a future issue...

She proudly announced that I was right between and 5 and a 6 and I was so excited I had made it that far and quickly asked for the epidural. Although I was dreading the process of it I really really wanted the relief. In came the anesthesiologist with a cart I refused to look at of course. They put me in the ever-dreaded position and let Nate be the one to help hold me in position. We sat there forehead to forehead trying to focus on not getting me paralyzed. What typically is a 2-5 minute process took about 10 minutes because apparently they went too far causing a lot of bleeding and had to try again. I will say it was a completely painless process as far as the needles go. Some stinging but totally manageable. The worst is the position but by a miracle not one contraction hit during the whole thing. I don't know how that's possible but I couldn't have been more relieved. Not sure how you hold that position during a contraction!

The epidural brought sweet relief as promised although it didn't fully work on my left side. I could still feel what I would guess to be about 60% of everything on the left and could fully move whereas my right side was completely paralyzed. What a weird feeling that was! I was extremely nervous that I could still feel on the left. They tried putting me in several positions to help move the drug to the left but it didn't make much of a difference. Looking back I'm actually pleased with this as I could feel when contractions were hitting which played a helpful role when it came time for pushing. If anything, it helped me be able to participate more effectively and for that I was thankful.

Happier times came when that drug hit and I was all smiles!

(I was a little looped and forgot to put my pointer down for our 'thumbs up' pose)

 Our nurse was absolutely amazing and very understanding of my fear of my belly button being touched, so she hooked me up with a little tape and note so the rest of the team would know to not touch!
 Of course, Nate brought his Dr. badge from when he played an extra in the movie "How Do You Know". He literally wore it the whole time.

A few more hours went by and Siegel came in to check on our progress. Reminder, this was the first time he did the exam since I came in. He was going off of Naomi's notes and the other doctors from my most recent checkups who guessed Isabelle was going to be a 7 pound baby. He first touched my belly to check on the baby's positioning and immediately said "um, this is no little peanut". This is why we now call her peanut by the way. She ended up being a whole 2 lbs bigger than expected.

He continued on with the exam and immediately you could tell he was very upset. He finally said that I was not dilated to a 5 or 6 and instead was still at a 3. Um, what?! Are you kidding me?! I asked how that was possible and he said she must've done her exam incorrectly. How that's even possible is still a mystery to me but that would explain why it had hurt so much! So I was in a bit of a panic and had a very angry doctor. Here we were thinking I was farther along so we got the epidural when in fact that wasn't the case and now after the epidural my contractions have slowed.

Siegel was visibly angry and went on to state that he didn't think I could deliver her and that we should prepare for a C section. Over my dead body was I going to call for a C section without a medical necessity. He simply thought the baby was too big for me to handle plus we were now behind in my progression. Couldn't figure out if he was genuinely concerned or just pissed it was going to take longer and wanted it over with.

So we were left with either C section or load up on pitocin to get the contractions started again. I did not want pitocin, the possible negative effects scared me. But I was not going for a C section so I gave in and said let's try the drug. Siegel was not pleased but said ok, let's give it a try. He had Naomi take me up to an 8 (seriously high level), said "do your thing" and walked out. Naomi was an angel. She told me to ignore what he had to say and that I had every capability to deliver her. We tried different positions - I even got on all fours which required a team of nurses to come in to help since I was half paralyzed. It brought some relief to the back labor since the contractions were seriously intensifying after the pitocin and since I could still feel a good amount in my left side that wasn't fun but not horrific.

About an hour went by and in walks Siegel to check on my progress. He had this look like "there's no way she's dilated enough" but as soon as he did the exam he surprisingly said I was dilated to an 8. Now, I'm no doctor but to go from a 3 to an 8 in less than an hour seemed like a lot even with the high level of pitocin so I'm not convinced their previous measuring was all that accurate, but whatever, we were moving along. He said within an hour I should be ready to push.

We did some practice pushing. Naomi offered some helpful advice, I followed her suggestions and before I knew it I could hear my mom announce "she has red hair!" The end was in sight! About an hour and 50 minutes after I started pushing in walks Siegel. Again, he had a bit of an annoyed look I'm sure expecting little progress but as soon as he actually took a look he started moving very quickly. So many things started to happen - he was literally running to get his gear on and Naomi was hustling to finish the final preparations. I remember looking at my mom and asking what was going on and she just smiled and said "she's almost here." I couldn't believe it. I was so determined to get her out and get her out quickly that I just focused on coming up with whatever energy I could possibly find. Seven more minutes went by and out came "little" Isabelle :)

That moment was beyond magical and I can't believe it actually happened. When they took her out her cord was wrapped around her neck but Siegel quickly unwrapped it and plopped her on my chest. Her first little cry instantly made all my fears go away and my heart swell more than I thought possible. I have images of my mom's and Nate's faces, crying of course, and Isabelle scooting around trying to figure out what the heck just happened. Nate proudly announced "10 fingers, 10 toes" as I said "look, she has hair on her ears just like her Daddy." Why that had to be one of the first things I noticed, I don't know. I blame the drugs.

Isabelle showed us how strong she was in her first few minutes. She started pushing her head up a bit and rooting around. I couldn't believe it and my mom was cracking up. She then surprised us even more by latching and nursing within her first couple minutes of being born. I remember thinking well, I guess she's going to show me how this is done!

All in all the entire experience made me just want to do it all over again. Not immediately, it was hard work, but no where near as scary or as awful as I had myself prepared for. There was no screaming, I didn't yell at Nate "you did this to me" and even in the toughest moments there wasn't anything that would deter me from doing it again. I am so very thankful for how blessed we were that it turned out exactly the way it did!

Take that Dr. Siegel - I delivered that "little peanut" just fine, all 9 lbs 5 oz of her! Boom! 
Nate's parents started their drive from MI when we went into the hospital and made it just after Isabelle was born.


Casey, Camren and Alex had already planned to visit the weekend Isabelle was born and we just lucked out that she ended up being born while they were here :)


Cassie, Andrew and Tara also visited us in the hospital. If you notice how red Isabelle's face is in some of these pictures that would be from after her first bath when the nurse was too rough with her and she ended up with scratches and rashes all over her face and body. So sad but they didn't seem to bother her and cleared up after a few days.

 
































Saturday, July 5, 2014

First Anniversay - Reminicing on our Wedding Day

Since I'm 10 months pregnant on our first anniversary and can't really do too much, we spent a good chunk of the day hanging out and reminiscing on our wedding day. Now I remember why I never put it in the blog - there are SO many pictures and stories it was overwhelming trying to put it all together. But in honor of our special day I decided to narrow it down to just the favorites that I felt represented our wedding day/trip well. You can see most of the others, including pre and post wedding fun and the honeymoon on our Flicker account by clicking here (tip, be sure to select "albums" in order to see them in a more organized way), but here are my favorites from that day... 

Not really a wedding shot but this picture represents something that I loved the most about our wedding. This was the morning of our wedding, just hours before the festivities began. Nate was off with the guys snorkeling and I was with my MOH and bridesmaids relaxing at the pool (missing Julie who was caring for her 5 week old at this moment!). It reminds me of how much we wanted to focus on truly enjoying the moments, relaxing, and taking it all in and this picture is a great example of how we achieved just that. Never did I think that just hours before walking down the aisle I would be chillin at the pool on a beautiful island with my sisters. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

Threw this in for fun - the guys mocking us the day after the wedding :)

Such dapper dudes! I would like to thank Cassie who reminded the guys that they had to stop snorkeling because they were about to be late for pictures!

Wanting to honor our grandparents that are no longer with us, I wore my grandmother's earrings and my very first piece of real jewelry - the gold bracelet my grandparents gave me when I was little.

Takes a village to get you ready I tell ya! High fives for a secret reason only the girls in that room know about ;)

Loved the view, my dress and my hair - done by no other than Julie of course!

All ready to head to "first look" photos!

At first I wasn't so sure about doing first look photos because I felt I would miss the traditional moment when he sees me come down the aisle. But I'm happy we did it this way. There was still that wow factor, we saved time by doing the photos in advance and got a chance to have a few private moments before the ceremony. Plus we wanted beach shots not at the hotel and it would've been a pain and a lot of time trying to get everyone to a separate beach after the ceremony. If anything, I feel like it added to the experience rather than taking anything away.

I'll never forget how awkward taking all these pictures was! Nate and I just aren't that good/into it but we had fun anyway mostly by telling jokes and laughing at ourselves which I'm sure made the task more difficult for the photographer!


Loved this private moment and walk ... until some kids ran across my train to get to the water. Little jerks.



Getting this shot with the veil not over my head was a huge accomplishment let me tell you!

This is what kept happening, which ended up being a really cute shot. About 10 seconds after this shot a gust of wind came and shoved the veil in my mouth, choking me. Not so graceful as this picture leads you to believe.

Love the love.

Heartbreaking moment - our niece Alaina wanted me to pick her up but I couldn't risk it with the dress since it was before the ceremony. I felt like a horrible auntie when she just couldn't understand why I wouldn't cuddle and pick her up.



Nate: "my turn!"

Best Man badge was ever present the entire trip!

Love my MOH!

Always breaking into a dance party.

Break from the seriousness. We're still 10 at heart :)

My absolute favorite picture of my girls. This picture just makes me feel their love and support everytime I look at it.

Cute candid moment leaving the beach.

Alaina was more interested in getting into the fountain than taking a picture in front of it. She could not get enough swimming time the entire trip!

Honoring Nate's grandparents that are in heaven - his Grandfather's ring passed down to him and his Grandmother's bible to carry our rings out.

Not one pedal dropped by this flower girl. Just a mad dash down the aisle :)

Nate's dad giving our reading.

Sealed with a kiss!

This one solely because of Nate's expression.

So much gratitude and love for our entire group that made the trip with us!!




We did it!!



I love all the silly pictures we ended up with, especially this bromance moment with Terry in my veil. While silly, this picture is another example of another big thing I loved about our wedding trip. We were combining my friends from MI with Nate's friends from MI, my friends from DC with Nate's friends from DC, most of which had never met before. I knew everyone would have a good time but the way our friends bonded on this trip was an unexpected surprise and couldn't have made us happier. Here's to our "vacation club"!

The exact spot where Nate proposed, featuring THE palm tree!

We're so cool. Really hope our kids agree one day.

Megan brought the tears during her speech, naturally. No one will fully understand what this woman means to me, I love her so much! When they gave my big brother Brenden a mic I was confused. Didn't know he had wanted to give a speech as he's not typically that kind of guy. I about died when I realized he wasn't giving a speech. Instead, he was reading a letter I had him write when I was 4 years old to my first crush - Michael J. Fox. My brothers had saved all these letters I had written to bring them out as a surprise on my wedding day. So hilarious and precious at the same time!

Enjoying the Best Man's speech. Nate and Jonathan's bond is definitely as strong as could be, a true brotherhood. Jonathan surprised us all by following up his awesome speech by singing "It Had to be You" flawlessly. I'll never forget it!

Dancing during the instrumental piece.



Again, proof of our coolness. Also reminds me of that bustle that just would not work. We finally just said to hell with it and tied the stinkin thing up and around my waist. Meh, didn't care at that point!

Matty Ice in all his glory.

It was definitely party time!

What wedding doesn't end with the wedding party in the pool?!


Just another example of how our wedding turned out how we had hoped - amazing, fun, relaxing and not too serious. It's all about the experiences and stories created along the way and we're so thankful for everyone that had a part in it. I just want to do it all over again, and again, and again!!!