Chasing Running

I'm in a rut ... and it's a crater of a rut! Possibly the size of the Grand Canyon. I am also my worst critic. So when I'm in a rut I criticize myself for allowing myself to be in said rut. Awful, awful habit.

To summarize, I haven't been running. I haven't been cooking and I've barely been cleaning. I haven't been reading and I can't get off the couch when I get home from work. Bad rut.

I'm not depressed, just exhausted from work, ok, and lately haven't been medically 100% but I can usually power through all that. I know I can't though when I'm not running. Running makes me awake, sleep better, and just overall happier. I feel a sense of accomplishment especially since I've always despised it.

So last week I decided to get back to it. Laced up my shoes, hopped on the treadmill and started running. Could barely finish a mile. Wth? I chalked it up to being "the first day back" and tried again the next day. Same thing. Grrr. Tried again the next day but went outside which typically lifts my spirits. In frustration, I had to walk after the first mile. So angry with myself, I ran another mile. That second mile ended in tears. What have I done? Why did I let myself seriously derail this time?!

It broke my heart and made me so very disappointed in myself that I worked so hard to get up to 10 miles and yet here I am back at square one, but with a worse attitude. The half marathon is in 1.5 months. How the H am I going to pull this off?!

I know I can, and I will. It's just so interesting to me how quickly it all went away. In a flash all my hard work was out the window. My body missed it and immediately became lethargic and my mind lazy after work.

Luckily I got back up to three miles this week and tomorrow I'm going to see what happens when I try for 6. I know that might be a bit much considering I haven't been running but I'm a little out of time and need to go for it. And I carefully chose my words "see what happens" - if it doesn't work out then I won't feel defeated but if it does, BAM, I'm back at it!

Writing this down does make me feel better. I'm hoping putting it out there for others to read and for me to go back to read with give a sense of accountability I need to get me through the next month.

1,2,3 GO!!!

Derecho

A Derecho is a widespread and straight-line windstorm that is associated with a fast-moving band of severe thunderstorms with gusts and winds often exceeding hurricane-force. In other words, a quick land hurricane.
Friday was a sunny, hot day. I remember hearing that we could have a thunderstorm that night, but nothing alarming and we really needed the rain and break in the 100 degree weather!

 
That night we went to a late movie with Julie & Jonathan. Julie and I were sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start while the guys were getting snacks. Then the screen and lights went out. We were confused, but figured it was nothing. Power came back on and we enjoyed the movie. Moonrise Kingdom was different and funny btw.

Walking out it was sprinkling and obvious that it had been raining. Driving home was a little creepy. The streets were steaming from the day's heat and there were small branches and leaves everywhere. Hmmm, that thunderstorm must've hit. They dropped us off and we walked up to our front door and I asked Nate why he had turned our porch lights off. At that same moment he opened the door and tried to turn them on. No power. Dangit!

Then we heard Julie yell, "you guys, look!" and she was pointing down our street. We ran down and saw that our neighbor's tree was split in three, one side blocking the street. Wow, must've been some storm!

Nate's creepy eyes made me think of how scary it would be if we had a zombie attack while without power.

Luckily they still had power and it appeared only our street was without. So Nate and I settled into our basement to sleep for the night as it was the only spot in the house that wasn't 80 degrees already.

The next morning still no power and we went outside to check out the tree. It was burned down the middle, so we're guessing it was lightning. Our neighbors said the storm hit fast and was like a sudden hurricane and then they heard the loudest bang, power went out and the tree was down. Thankfully the tree just barely dented their car, but didn't smash it.

I had plans to go shopping for wedding dresses with my mom that day so I called her and learned she too was without power. Luckily the store we were going to had power, so we planned to go anyway and enjoy the A/C. I drove to work first to check on the building and we luckily had power there too.

Driving to my mom's was scary. Trees were down everywhere - even on the highway! And when I say trees, I don't mean the little ones. HUGE trees knocked down like they were nothing. Listening to the one radio station that had power and was able to be on, I learned that we had been hit by a Derecho. Half a million people were without power. Trees hit houses. Two were killed in Springfield (where we live) - one was hit by a tree while driving, one hit by a tree in her own house. So sad.

I got off the highway and Old Georgetown Rd. looked like a complete war zone. All traffic lights out. Idiot drivers not knowing that you have to treat it like a 4-way stop so I watched about 3 almost horrible accidents. Driving was like an obstacle course because of all the trees down and debris everywhere. Half-mile long lines to the gas stations as everyone needed to gas up their generators and most gas stations were without power.

Then I noticed my mom's neighbor, two houses down. It was split in two by a tree. The tree fell directly into the middle of the house and completely cut the house into two. No one was hurt, but it made me realize how horrible the storm was so thankful that my mom was safe and so were we.

We made it to the dress shop and enjoyed our day :) News hit that we should prepare for the power to take days, if not a week to come back on because of all the damage and amount of people without. Then Nate called and said our power made it back on. YAY!! Mom came and stayed with us until power was restored in her area.

Being without power is one thing. Being without power when it was 90-100 degrees everyday was pure misery. I am so thankful that we just happened to be one of the first areas with power restored. But I felt so bad as we talked to others and heard the news how miserable people were as their houses reached 90-95 degrees inside. Metro buses were turned on and stationed as cooling centers. People turned to all the malls just to walk around and cool off. I'm sure restaurants have made plenty as everyone has been eating out.

Each day since another 100,000 people have had the power restored and I think we're down to the final 100,000 without power. Mom's finally came back on yesterday. Cleanup is almost done. End of the tunnel is very near!

Last night Nate and I went to dinner and noticed lightening. Crap. We watched the storm get closer and asked the waitress to grab our check so we could make it out before the storm. Just as we were chatting with her about how bad Friday's storm was, the power went out. NOOOO!! Luckily it came right back on but we had to wait for the credit card machine to come back on. So we didn't beat the storm, we watched it hit. Crazy winds and lightening all over again. As we approached our neighborhood, all street and traffic lights went out. Not again!! Luckily they too came back on a minute later. Anxious to see if our house had power, we turned the corner and I've never been so happy to see our porch lights still on!

So this 4th of July we're so thankful for our freedom, our power and safety!

Guns & 80 yr. olds

Guns - I know it's a touchy subject. I don't doubt that half the people who read this will not agree with me and that's absolutely ok. But sometimes things bother me so much I just have to vent and well, this is one of my soundboards.

This weekend we were at the pool and a neighbor said to another neighbor that there was a shooting in our neighborhood. Clearly, this conversation happened loud enough for all to hear and it commanded our attention. He then went on to explain that a few houses down an 80 year-old man was cleaning his gun and it accidentally discharged, shot through his hand and then into the stomach of his 40 year son. As far as anyone knows, the son has survived (and the 80 yr. old is fine).

I wouldn't necessarily phrase that as a shooting - that takes me back to some of my living and working in Pontiac, MI days - those were legit shootings. But anyway...


The woman he was talking to immediately says "see, that's exactly why I think guns should be illegal. I don't care how careful people claim to be, they're still dangerous." She clearly wanted the entire pool area to hear her opinion as she loudly announced her stance on gun control. She said it with fierce conviction and nearly sounded outraged that the 80 year was even allowed to have a gun.


Here's my problem - if you have a stance on an issue, please try to make sense. Say something like "how scary, guns scare me and that's why I don't want them anywhere near me or my home." That makes sense. Guns can be scary and it's beyond understandable that people are scared of them. Heck, they make me a little nervous too.

And she was right - guns are dangerous. But so are many things in our lives, like cars. Let's say a drunk driver gets behind the wheel and hits someone - do you then think cars should be illegal? No, it's the act that is illegal, not the object.

Let's even tone it down some - say someone is putting mascara on while driving (no, I don't do this... anymore) and accidentally rear-ends the car in front. I don't see anyone outlawing vehicles, but absolutely she should get fined for being careless and reckless. Or even better, put the same 80 year old man behind the wheel and let's say he can't see well and accidentally starts running over mailboxes. You're given a license to drive and with that comes the responsibility to drive safely and not hit anyone or anything.


With a gun you're held to similar laws - you can't just go around shooting people (except for in Florida). It's gun handling 101 to not clean a loaded gun. That was ridiculous and obviously an accident waiting to happen. I'm guessing because he's 80, shot himself and his son that they won't charge him, but they have every right to.


When you abuse your right to drive or have a gun by being careless with it, there should be consequences. However, I think it's a stretch to see it as a justifiable reason to make it illegal. Stick to the things that make sense instead of making outlandish statements that make you look silly.


These are all the things I wanted to say to that lady but she looked like she could beat me up, so I'll just share it here.

In case you haven't guessed I'm pro the 2nd amendment and grew up with a father and many other family members who are avid hunters. I grew up as a little girl with guns in the house and constantly around them. It never phased me. Never once did I ever think it was ok to play with them. I wasn't afraid of them, but I respected them.


At the same time, I understand those who are afraid and against guns. I don't agree, but I understand. It's a different age and clearly there is some serious abuse out there - that I firmly believe should be controlled. But I think a lot of that fear comes from the unknown. If you grew up like I did you would see things differently. If someone kills someone with a gun I see a killer and wonder and worry what made him do it. Others see how and why he got the gun. While that may be part of the problem, it's not what caused the problem in my eyes.

Ok, done with this topic - hope I didn't offend anyone!

Why Doc, Why??

Earlier this week I had scheduled my dental checkup and decided to go ahead and multitask by scheduling a follow up appointment with my ENT too.

*Quick backstory - I've had severe sinus issues for a very long time since living in a place with some "mild" mold. So finally I went in to a recommended ENT out here and got a CT scan.

Anyway, dental checkup was great. Everything from last week healed well and I can eat solids now - yes!!!! Invisalign is the next step to work out some jaw issues, at least I thought it was until I saw the price tag. Nothing irritates me more than looking at something that costs an arm & a leg and appears to be something I could make.

At the ENT they wanted to review my CT results. Deviated septum - big whoop, doesn't everyone have one? I'm not snoring or having many other issues, so that one will have to wait.

On to my sinuses. My doc knows how to get through to me - color code things. So he starts out "black is good, means open and easy airflow. Light grey means blockage, darker grey means infection." Got it. He pulls the scan up and I immediately show him all the little black spots that I can find. I was so impressed with my sinuses and relieved I could find any black at all. Then I realized he looked amused...

"Yes but you are about 90% grey. You're supposed to be 90% black." Rats! He then went on to say that whatever the way back sinuses are (why can't they have easy names) are dark grey and we need to remove the infection ASAP because it's so close to my brain. Then I saw some stars.

Why do they feel the need to scare you? I mean, I guess if he hadn't and just handed me some Nasonex I wouldn't have taken anything seriously.

So I asked what can be done. A hospital visit, go under, and they'd clean it all out and could fix the septum too. 1-2 week recovery. Ouch. And no.

I explained that I just had some restrictions put on me from a dental procedure and that I'm not good with restrictions so I asked for an option B. He's a very kind a patient man :)

Antibiotic for the next 3-4 weeks, see if it does anything. I was so excited when I said, no problem I just got off one so I should be good. All done, problem solved.

Then he asked what antibiotic and when I told him he laughed an evil, pompous laugh like that antibiotic was a low life. Oh no sweetie, a more intense one.

Instantly I thought of Oberon. But... But ... its summer. I want my Oberon and orange slice. I want my chilled glass of white wine that I only drink in the summer. I want a margarita on our deck after crappy week. These antibiotics are ruining the start of my summer!!

So Very Hungry

So last week I had to have a dental procedure done. Zero fun. Didn't have to go completely under but out of it enough. So much so that the seatbelt in the car is stained with spilled milkshake that I tried so desperately to keep in my mouth.

I've had to be on pretty much a liquid diet since and probably for the rest of this week if not longer. Talk about torture. Anyone who knows me well knows I like to eat every hour of everyday.

Suddenly I'm confined to smoothies, soup, applesauce and being really careful not to eat 5 milkshakes a day. Needless to say I've been really really really hungry. So hungry I've even resorted to V8 which I'd sworn off the first time I tried it as a teenager *shudder*

The only thing holding me together is my amazing fiancé... aw! He's been taking great care of me and tolerating my persistent complaints of being hungry. He even tries to spice up my go-to tomato soup with parmesan and fresh basil from our backyard!

To be careful, I haven't been running during all of this. I'm very eager to be able to get back out there though - only 3 months until the half marathon! Yikesyayohcrapwootwoot!!

With Memorial weekend coming up I really hope I can eat some solids - I love Memorial Day cookouts :( Maybe a hamburger and potato salad aren't half bad in a blender?

Race for the Cure!

Long overdue, I know, I suck! I wanted to recap when Nate and I flew to MI to spend time with friends and family and run in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in honor of my Aunt Cyndi. She's been kicking cancer's butt this past year and I am constantly amazed at her strength.

To kick off some fundraising, Nate and I decided to start a little bet but it actually backfired. Everyone read that whoever raised the money first did NOT have to wear the tutu, so everyone donated to me - trying to get Nate to have to wear the tutu. But really it said whoever raised the money first would HAVE to wear it. Rats! We petitioned and decided that if we raised $500 between the two of us, we would both have to wear the pink tutu. And we did :)


Since I have made zero time for a social life and me time lately, I definitely did not make time to shop for pink tutus before we went to MI. So the first day there we spent the day with Nate's parents and Nate's mom saved the day by offering to make the tutus for us. She's amazing! Nate was not super excited picking out the material...

Brenden and little miss Alaina met us for dinner later that night. We haven't seen Alaina in so long and I was worried she would see me as a stranger, but when Brenden took her out of her carseat she immediately grabbed for me. Now, she's a very friendly baby so there's a small chance that she would do that just about anyone, but we're going to go with she recognized me because it melted my heart!


After dinner we let her run around and scream like a monster. So funny to see her walking like a little drunken sailor. Stumble, stumble, almost fall, full out sprint, sideways step, pause to recollect. She gravitated to Cheryl's gentle nature and would whisper "wats dat" to her. 

Saturday morning we got to spend some much needed QT with some of my favorite girls. We stayed at Meg's and Aly and Christina joined us for breakfast. Meg makes the best breakfasts and Nate was super excited!

Saturday afternoon we headed over to Aunt Nancy's and Brenden, Nate, Uncle Steve and Marie all went out the MSU spring football game. Aunt Nancy, Kenny and I hung back with Alaina. She enjoyed opening up her very belated birthday gifts from me and mom...

 Taking a moment to pet the heart...

 Baby pink crocs!

 Digging for more!

Then finally came Sunday - the day of the race. Cheryl met us with the tutus. When I saw the pretty pink tulle I was so excited! Nate was not. I wanted to have them on when we walked up to the fam so we got mine started. 

Nate, scratching his head, wanted to delay as long as possible but finally agreed it would be 'special' if we had them on for the whole time. So then we got his started...

I think he was asking Aly what the heck was so funny, hahahaha!!

I'll never forget the looks he was giving me in that moment. I was honestly wondering if he would talk to me within the next week. It was a mix of "you're my least favorite person right now", "I'll get you back for this" and "why?!". 


But he did it. And it was big and bright. And he was like an angry, raging bull. Then he realized it was getting him some attention...

Soon ALL the ladies noticed his bright tutu and started complementing him. All of a sudden he held his head higher and walked awfully proud to be in that tutu. 


We first met Brenden and Alaina. She was so excited her Auntie and Uncle were in tutus! She was even more excited when she put her tutu on :)

 

Ready to rock it - thank you again Cheryl for the tutus!!

Meeting up with the family was so much fun. I hadn't seen a lot of them in a while and it was great to have our large group all together. I wasn't taking many pictures - I always seem to forget to take pictures when I'm having a good time. Luckily Denny and Cheryl were there taking some, so was my cousin Nicole and Aly joined us too who naturally takes pictures everywhere she's at :) So here are some they shared...

 Too cool for school

 Aly and Nate... and tutu

 Taylor and Alaina chasing after a cheerio trapped in the stroller

 Precious Taylor Marie!

 Pretty in pink Lainey Bug!

 Aly's rockin socks!

My Aunt Cyndi is so beautiful. She was glowing with strength and a constant smile that day. I'll always remember her huge smile as she walked the survivor's walk. 

After being all emotional, it was time to run - no easy task! Brenden, Casey, Aly and I all decided to run. We were also joined by my Aunt Cyndi's friend Laura. Standing at the start I tried to remember my only goal that day was to finish in under 33 minutes. Some may call that slow, but for anyone who knows me and my journey of running that's actually really fast for me and would be a PR. 


Aly and Laura to my left, Brenden and Casey to my right. I was so excited. Coach Dantonio came out and gave us our pep talk. Why did I tear up again? I don't know, but I did. Then bam, we were off. Waiving as we passed the fam, I looked to my left and there was Aly but Laura was gone. Looked to my right and the boys were already a half a mile ahead of us. 


Then we hit the first mile marker in under 10 minutes. Aly and I looked at each other and started laughing. OH, so that's why we hate our lives right now! We need to slow down!! And we did, but still kept a pretty good pace for us. 


The course was flat  and zigzagged throughout the capitol's blocks, circling back to the start. It was an easy course and running without music didn't bother me this race either. 


Then came the finish. We were pushing it that last mile, determined to make the best time possible. Then we turned the final bend to the finish and it was a slight hill. Rats. Why are there always hills near the end?! But we didn't slow and sprinted up and through the finish.

Oh the tutu. I don't recommend running in one, but it was so worth it :)

I could barely breathe and at the end everyone just stopped and there was a crowd of what felt like 1,000 people about 5 feet past the finish line. Not good. I couldn't breathe, I was trying to figure out our finish time, people were pushing as they do in crowds and the girl that finished in between Aly and I was puking directly behind Aly. Awesome.

I knew if Aly turned around, not only would she see it and probably freak out but she might also step in it or get puked on. So I yelled to her to turn left and fight our way out. Which we did as the girl continued to lose it. Ew. 

Open air never felt so good! Casey joined us as we were still trying to catch our breath and told us he finished in 25 minutes. I wanted to hug him I was proud. Then I wanted to punch him because here he was not having run in probably years and all of a sudden just runs an insane time. But I was very happy when I found out Aly and I ran a 31:02! New PR, felt great!

Casey, Aly and I at the finish!

Brenden finished just behind us and later we would learn Laura knocked it out of the park too and finished sometime around 26 minutes. She and Casey were an inspiration to me that day!


We then headed back to meet the rest of Team Nemesis who were walking the 5K. Nate gladly took Alaina duty :)

Not sure what I was doing... something ridiculous I'm sure

Alaina was diggin the post race chocolate milk :)

Team Nemesis! Love you all!!

Luckily we got to spend a little more time with the fam later at Aunt Nancy's. 

Alaina entertained us with her music

It was great to have Nate's parents join us - so happy they braved our big goofy fam that day!

And so proud to see my Aunt Cyndi's strength in person - truly inspiring!

(apparently I hadn't looked in a mirror since that morning)

GW Parkway Classic!

Finished my first ten miler, woot woot! It was chilly and lightly rained the...entire...time. Awesome.

The nerves and threats of heavy rain nearly made me stay in bed and not run. I was very afraid it was going to be miserable and that I wouldn't be able finish. Work became hectic and therefore a very convenient excuse to not keep up with my maintenance runs. So going into the 10 miler I hadn't run more than 2 miles at a day the two weeks before.

But I dragged myself there, almost talked myself back out of it 4 times on the way and then when I got there and saw Angela had braved the weather too I knew I couldn't back out. Luckily it was only light rain, but it was rain all the same and didn't give us much of a break.

I finally broke loose from my nerves about mile 3 - the typically time when I eventually start to enjoy my runs. I still hate miles 1-3 and have to constantly tell myself not to give up.

Worried I would ruin my shuffle in the rain, I ran without music. Kind of enjoyed it, not gonna lie. Listening to all the people cheering us on along the way and taking in our surroundings somehow kept me entertained enough. It was really fun to see all the spectators braving the rain too. I almost wanted to cheer back to them for being out there!

I surprised myself near mile 9 and didn't fall apart like I typically do during my practice runs. I was able to kick it up a bit and sprinted through the finish line! It felt so great that I was able to finish and not feel like I was going to die in the end.

With Angela's encouragement, I was able to finish in 1:53 which is the fastest I've ever run a 10 mile. It felt great! Sadly Mom and Nate missed me crossing the finish by minutes. They were trying to find us and Nate was guessing where we'd be based off my usual pace but since we were going faster, they just missed us :( Oh well, there will be more!