Never fun when you're exhausted and all you want is sleep and then the little one within decides to have dance parties around 3-4am. Just about 4 times a week she wakes me up with her fun flips and kicks right around 3-4am making it very difficult to go back to sleep. Most times I can fall back asleep by about 4:30 but this morning is an example where I'm wide awake and by 5am and decide I should get out of bed or poor Nate might kill me for tossing and turning.
While most times I can get another hour or two in of sleep, I get up around 6:30 anyway so on a day like today it would actually make me groggier if I fell back asleep for only an hour, if I was able to at all. So I'm probably up for the rest of the morning. Nothing like starting what will be a 10 hour day with being awake for no reason at 4am. And for me, the earlier I rise does not shave off any time at the end of my day - I will have to be at work until 7pm regardless. Awesome.
Only two comforting things - an active baby is a healthy baby and this is still the most sleep I'll be getting for a very long time once she's born. I guess that second one isn't all that comforting, more daunting when I think about it, but I'm trying to make a positive spin :)
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Did My Water Just Break?!
One night after work Nate and I stopped and picked up sandwiches for dinner. He plopped the bag in my lap and we drove home. Just as I was about to get out of the car I had this rush of what felt like water all down my crotch. At about eight and a half months pregnant of course I freaked.
Did my water just break?
Wait, we're just about 34 weeks that's too soon.
Oh god, this can't be happening.
I'm not ready.
The baby's not ready.
Well clearly she might be if she's coming.
Is there a chance I can pretend that this isn't happening?
Probably not.
AHHHHHH!!!!!
These were all the thoughts racing through my head all at once. What came out of my mouth was one single phrase. Excuse the language but I'm going to use the preggo card here - in a frozen state I just started slowly saying WTF?!
Nate, my much calmer half, looked down and saw there was some liquid, grabbed the bag out of my lap and said "oh crap, did something start leaking?" Not phased by my freak out and of course found the more logical explanation in a split second, he realized the container of pickles just leaked out a ton of pickle juice all over me.
Pickle juice.
The baby's not coming.
I'm ok.
I have more time.
Close call.
THANK GOD!!!!
I finally started breathing again, held back the always present urge to cry, and let the relief wash over me (while Nate proceeded to clean up the pickle juice from the seat). Then it hit him...
Wait, did you think your water just broke?
Yes.
Don't you think you would feel it coming out of you??
What part of this have a I ever experienced before?! How the hell should I know? All I knew was my lap was full of liquid like I just peed my pants!
Well good thing that wasn't it!
Yeah, good thing, except it's going to happen eventually!
Oh pickle juice, thanks for the heart attack!
Did my water just break?
Wait, we're just about 34 weeks that's too soon.
Oh god, this can't be happening.
I'm not ready.
The baby's not ready.
Well clearly she might be if she's coming.
Is there a chance I can pretend that this isn't happening?
Probably not.
AHHHHHH!!!!!
These were all the thoughts racing through my head all at once. What came out of my mouth was one single phrase. Excuse the language but I'm going to use the preggo card here - in a frozen state I just started slowly saying WTF?!
Nate, my much calmer half, looked down and saw there was some liquid, grabbed the bag out of my lap and said "oh crap, did something start leaking?" Not phased by my freak out and of course found the more logical explanation in a split second, he realized the container of pickles just leaked out a ton of pickle juice all over me.
Pickle juice.
The baby's not coming.
I'm ok.
I have more time.
Close call.
THANK GOD!!!!
I finally started breathing again, held back the always present urge to cry, and let the relief wash over me (while Nate proceeded to clean up the pickle juice from the seat). Then it hit him...
Wait, did you think your water just broke?
Yes.
Don't you think you would feel it coming out of you??
What part of this have a I ever experienced before?! How the hell should I know? All I knew was my lap was full of liquid like I just peed my pants!
Well good thing that wasn't it!
Yeah, good thing, except it's going to happen eventually!
Oh pickle juice, thanks for the heart attack!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Nursery Decor/Struggles/Fun
Poor Nate. He got his "office" taken away from him in preparation for it to be transformed into the nursery. Watching him move his desk down to the basement was a little sad. Ok, I'm completely fibbing. It was entertaining - not to him, he truly was sad but I couldn't help but giggle at his "woe is me" show. The room was being used mostly for storage, not some amazing in-home office. Also, his desk was being moved to the basement which is his man cave anyway. Its new location is literally right next to the big Sparty fathead, what more could he ask for?
I've never been all that great at coming up with a vision for room decor and being able to fully pull it together, but I'm sure trying with this little girl's room. I wanted it to be soft, crystals and pearls, peachy pink and white with maybe some gray. Sounds like a mess huh? Yeah, I think so too but somehow I'm still going for it. Got the paint up - we did one wall where the crib is and a thick stripe across the room to bring the color through the room without overwhelming it. Definitely don't want that look of pink just threw up all over this room!
This past weekend we (mostly Nate) spent putting the crib and glider together. Not a fun task for him but it was so exciting to see it start to come together! Biggest challenge is this room is absolutely tiny, which would be ok except that we have a huge cabinet/hutch that is massive. It's a great piece of furniture, provides awesome storage and is the perfect height to be the changing table. But it is a giant and probably weighs 1,000 pounds. We don't have anywhere else to put it so it's either make it work or get rid of it. We decided to try and make it work and came up with this arrangement:
It's the best for not overpowering the room or becoming the focal point of the room which as a mismatched piece I really didn't want. It's a bummer that it goes past the window a bit though. Probably won't end up being that big of a deal later but right now it's throwing my slight OCD for quite the loop. I just want to cut the thing down by a few inches and would feel so much better. But it literally can't fit better any other way - and yes, I made Nate try lots of different spots. It's a wonder he didn't throw out his back with all this fun activity :)
And her new fancy lamp came in:
I've never been all that great at coming up with a vision for room decor and being able to fully pull it together, but I'm sure trying with this little girl's room. I wanted it to be soft, crystals and pearls, peachy pink and white with maybe some gray. Sounds like a mess huh? Yeah, I think so too but somehow I'm still going for it. Got the paint up - we did one wall where the crib is and a thick stripe across the room to bring the color through the room without overwhelming it. Definitely don't want that look of pink just threw up all over this room!
This past weekend we (mostly Nate) spent putting the crib and glider together. Not a fun task for him but it was so exciting to see it start to come together! Biggest challenge is this room is absolutely tiny, which would be ok except that we have a huge cabinet/hutch that is massive. It's a great piece of furniture, provides awesome storage and is the perfect height to be the changing table. But it is a giant and probably weighs 1,000 pounds. We don't have anywhere else to put it so it's either make it work or get rid of it. We decided to try and make it work and came up with this arrangement:
It's the best for not overpowering the room or becoming the focal point of the room which as a mismatched piece I really didn't want. It's a bummer that it goes past the window a bit though. Probably won't end up being that big of a deal later but right now it's throwing my slight OCD for quite the loop. I just want to cut the thing down by a few inches and would feel so much better. But it literally can't fit better any other way - and yes, I made Nate try lots of different spots. It's a wonder he didn't throw out his back with all this fun activity :)
Here's the crib:
And her new fancy lamp came in:
I'll try and retake more visible photos next time once the room is done :) But with just a few things left to get for the room and some decor projects, it's pretty much all set. So strange and exciting to think we have a little nursery in our house now!!
Friday, April 4, 2014
Third and Final!
Officially kicked off the third trimester and feeling great! Well, not great as is there's not a human growing in me because that causes challenges, but great all things considered.
My energy is slowly slipping away again and it feels like a different kind of tired than in the first trimester. Instead of sleepy I feel more worn out. Just sitting, laying or holding still for a minute feels awesome. I feel like I'm getting worn out faster with each day. That won't end well but I've been able to chug along so far. I'm definitely having to introduce more rest moments, walking breaks, and stretching at work to make it through the day.
One other complication at work - this little girl does not appreciate her space being infringed on. So if I'm sitting straight up or leaning slightly forward for too long, as I do when working at my desk, she revolts. Not too long ago we used to refer to her as a gymnast, now, straight up ninja. What used to be sweet little bumps and flips are now jabs with a purpose and scrapping limbs or her butt across my belly. And of course a majority of her jabs are directly on or around my belly button - my biggest pregnancy fear! No I haven't gotten more used to it and no it's not yet reversed my pain. Maybe there's still hope. But it has remained an innie ... so far!
This week it's almost as if she's flipped her days and nights all of a sudden too. She's pretty active throughout the day (won't let me sit still at work for more than 45 minutes at a time) and at night only interrupts my sleep once between 3am-5am instead of 2-3 other times earlier in the night. Makes work more complicated but I'm loving the longer periods of sleep at night! Here's hoping she keeps it up after she arrives (no need to snort "wishful thinking", I get it's a long shot).
So I've had to tilt back while working during her refusal to let me focus in a position that works for me but usually standing and rocking for a minute or going for a quick walk chills her back out. And yes that means some conference calls, meetings and even typing have been done standing up to calm the beast within! She still gets really active and shows off her ninja moves when I stress a little or get worked up. A tense meeting at work results in me having to hide the fact that I'm getting jabbed. Not sure if she's telling me to chill out or sticking up for me and telling the situation I'm dealing with to leave her mom alone :)
Our last checkup she decided to hide a little and they couldn't find the heart beat for a minute or two. I still hold my breath every time I go in until I hear it, so that didn't help any nerves that won't seem to go away. We heard a faint sound near my belly button and determined she had set up shop directly underneath it. This doctor was the doctor that nearly got kicked in the face the last time he touched my belly button so he was steering clear. Instead, he started pushing at her to get her to move. Nothing. No movements, no heart beat. So he pushed a little more and then all of a sudden boom! She kicked where his hand was and he nearly dropped the wand as he was not expecting such a jab. He giggled in shock and I couldn't help but feel my first "I'm sorry my kid just did that to you" moment. Her heart was heard loud and clear after that!
After our checkup came the hospital tour - informative and helpful while also being completely terrifying. Overall it made me feel more comfortable just seeing everything and becoming a little more familiar with it - what our room will look like, where Nate gets to sleep, thank goodness there's a bench in the shower, wow those pillows really do look like they suck, and all the suggested items to bring (i.e. pillows!). I also learned what are red flags to security. Trust me, I'm the one who would go walking down the hall with my new baby in my arms not knowing that would get me detained by security. Baby must always be in the cart, got it.
But seeing the machines, all the rooms, and where we would go for all the "what-ifs" just made it more clear how crazy and scary of an experience this is about to be. I'm amazed I didn't pass out. You see, there was this one time when my dear friend Aly had her baby. I went to visit her. I saw her. I saw the baby. I realized holy crap that baby just came out of her. I passed out. I'd like to think I did ok on this tour because I'm older and "wiser" now and will be able to handle this like a champ. A phrase I will keep repeating to myself over and over until we're there. No turning back now!
My energy is slowly slipping away again and it feels like a different kind of tired than in the first trimester. Instead of sleepy I feel more worn out. Just sitting, laying or holding still for a minute feels awesome. I feel like I'm getting worn out faster with each day. That won't end well but I've been able to chug along so far. I'm definitely having to introduce more rest moments, walking breaks, and stretching at work to make it through the day.
One other complication at work - this little girl does not appreciate her space being infringed on. So if I'm sitting straight up or leaning slightly forward for too long, as I do when working at my desk, she revolts. Not too long ago we used to refer to her as a gymnast, now, straight up ninja. What used to be sweet little bumps and flips are now jabs with a purpose and scrapping limbs or her butt across my belly. And of course a majority of her jabs are directly on or around my belly button - my biggest pregnancy fear! No I haven't gotten more used to it and no it's not yet reversed my pain. Maybe there's still hope. But it has remained an innie ... so far!
This week it's almost as if she's flipped her days and nights all of a sudden too. She's pretty active throughout the day (won't let me sit still at work for more than 45 minutes at a time) and at night only interrupts my sleep once between 3am-5am instead of 2-3 other times earlier in the night. Makes work more complicated but I'm loving the longer periods of sleep at night! Here's hoping she keeps it up after she arrives (no need to snort "wishful thinking", I get it's a long shot).
So I've had to tilt back while working during her refusal to let me focus in a position that works for me but usually standing and rocking for a minute or going for a quick walk chills her back out. And yes that means some conference calls, meetings and even typing have been done standing up to calm the beast within! She still gets really active and shows off her ninja moves when I stress a little or get worked up. A tense meeting at work results in me having to hide the fact that I'm getting jabbed. Not sure if she's telling me to chill out or sticking up for me and telling the situation I'm dealing with to leave her mom alone :)
Our last checkup she decided to hide a little and they couldn't find the heart beat for a minute or two. I still hold my breath every time I go in until I hear it, so that didn't help any nerves that won't seem to go away. We heard a faint sound near my belly button and determined she had set up shop directly underneath it. This doctor was the doctor that nearly got kicked in the face the last time he touched my belly button so he was steering clear. Instead, he started pushing at her to get her to move. Nothing. No movements, no heart beat. So he pushed a little more and then all of a sudden boom! She kicked where his hand was and he nearly dropped the wand as he was not expecting such a jab. He giggled in shock and I couldn't help but feel my first "I'm sorry my kid just did that to you" moment. Her heart was heard loud and clear after that!
After our checkup came the hospital tour - informative and helpful while also being completely terrifying. Overall it made me feel more comfortable just seeing everything and becoming a little more familiar with it - what our room will look like, where Nate gets to sleep, thank goodness there's a bench in the shower, wow those pillows really do look like they suck, and all the suggested items to bring (i.e. pillows!). I also learned what are red flags to security. Trust me, I'm the one who would go walking down the hall with my new baby in my arms not knowing that would get me detained by security. Baby must always be in the cart, got it.
But seeing the machines, all the rooms, and where we would go for all the "what-ifs" just made it more clear how crazy and scary of an experience this is about to be. I'm amazed I didn't pass out. You see, there was this one time when my dear friend Aly had her baby. I went to visit her. I saw her. I saw the baby. I realized holy crap that baby just came out of her. I passed out. I'd like to think I did ok on this tour because I'm older and "wiser" now and will be able to handle this like a champ. A phrase I will keep repeating to myself over and over until we're there. No turning back now!
Friday, March 28, 2014
T2 in Review
Second trimester was pretty good to me, can't complain at all really. Energy came back a little which was a good relief and my streak of no nausea has continued through today even. Then the best part so far which has been feeling her moving around. What a strange and amazing feeling all at once! Little bumps here and there and then I started to recognize a pattern. She likes to do her gymnastics as I call it between 9am-11am, 7pm-9pm and 3am-5am. There's moving in between but those are the hours where she must pretend to be swinging on the uneven bars! Oh, and anytime I get stressed or worked up. That's real convenient. Being worked up about something and then let's add some flips and bumps from the inside out. Awesome.
We had a little scare when she decided to stop moving ... for practically two days. One day she was crazy active all day. Then the next day I only felt her slightly twice (typically it had been about 20 times a day I would say). Concerned, but thinking maybe she was just resting after quite the active day I went on with my normal routine. The next day - same thing. Then I got a little worried but late in the day I felt one little tug and decided to see if she would do her fun "let's wake mom up at 3am and not let her go back to sleep" routine. When my alarm woke me up at 6:30am the next day I was worried. Went into work and still nothing so I decided to call in to the Dr. to see what they thought. Their response - you need to have an ultrasound within an hour and your husband needs to be with you. To say my stomach dropped is an understatement. In pure panic, but somehow I managed to keep it controlled panic, told my office I had to go in quick to see the Dr. and got Nate to meet me. I don't think I was really breathing until her little flickering heart came up on the screen and all was well.
So what happened? Not sure. They think she just got in a position she loved and passed out for a few days. While very normal to have some inactive days, the dramatic and fast decrease was concerning to them so they decided to do another full anatomy scan just to check things out. Which was fun to be able to see her all over again unexpectedly and SO relieving to learn everything was perfectly ok.
After the scan and measurements they said "she seems to be measuring according to her due date, except for her head. Her head's measuring really large." I must've had quite the look on my face because she quickly said "no, it's ok, she's perfectly fine, there are no problems, just a big head." To which I said I know and understand, look at her father's, that' s what I'm worried about on labor day! She very quietly giggled and said "I'm sorry." Great. But it was so fun to get to see our babe (and nice to not have terminator show up again!):
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And since then? The gymnast has not stopped moving. It's as if she's saying "oh you were complaining about me moving? Fine, I'll show you" and has been at it ever since. While becoming increasingly uncomfortable, I love it all the same!
We had a little scare when she decided to stop moving ... for practically two days. One day she was crazy active all day. Then the next day I only felt her slightly twice (typically it had been about 20 times a day I would say). Concerned, but thinking maybe she was just resting after quite the active day I went on with my normal routine. The next day - same thing. Then I got a little worried but late in the day I felt one little tug and decided to see if she would do her fun "let's wake mom up at 3am and not let her go back to sleep" routine. When my alarm woke me up at 6:30am the next day I was worried. Went into work and still nothing so I decided to call in to the Dr. to see what they thought. Their response - you need to have an ultrasound within an hour and your husband needs to be with you. To say my stomach dropped is an understatement. In pure panic, but somehow I managed to keep it controlled panic, told my office I had to go in quick to see the Dr. and got Nate to meet me. I don't think I was really breathing until her little flickering heart came up on the screen and all was well.
So what happened? Not sure. They think she just got in a position she loved and passed out for a few days. While very normal to have some inactive days, the dramatic and fast decrease was concerning to them so they decided to do another full anatomy scan just to check things out. Which was fun to be able to see her all over again unexpectedly and SO relieving to learn everything was perfectly ok.
After the scan and measurements they said "she seems to be measuring according to her due date, except for her head. Her head's measuring really large." I must've had quite the look on my face because she quickly said "no, it's ok, she's perfectly fine, there are no problems, just a big head." To which I said I know and understand, look at her father's, that' s what I'm worried about on labor day! She very quietly giggled and said "I'm sorry." Great. But it was so fun to get to see our babe (and nice to not have terminator show up again!):
And since then? The gymnast has not stopped moving. It's as if she's saying "oh you were complaining about me moving? Fine, I'll show you" and has been at it ever since. While becoming increasingly uncomfortable, I love it all the same!
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Maternity Wear at the Office
As I shared before, I've had it pretty easy so far so not too much was difficult in my daily routine (besides trying to get enough sleep and stay awake). Biggest challenge and this may seem petty but I'm really pleased it has been my only big challenge - what the heck do I wear to work?
We have a strict dress code at work which I've always enjoyed. I like suits, skirt suits, business dresses, and pumps. I'll admit it - they give a sense of confidence. I feel put together, smart, fancy and powerful in my best business attire. Sadly none of those are that comfortable though with a growing belly. I tried to stay in regular clothes as long as possible and to some degree still do. But by week 9 I was wearing belly bands, unable to button any of my pants. A few weeks later the belly band just couldn't make it work. It was time.
Maternity shopping for work was zero fun for me. Everything looked boring, frumpy, and all the same. Now if money grew on trees it would be a different story but I'm not trying to take out another mortgage just to get maternity wear for work. Affordable options just really felt like they were lacking pizazz, personality and professionalism that I'm used to. If they can make affordable options for regular work clothes why can't they do the same for maternity wear? It just doesn't make sense to me. To move this rant along, I became determined to make it work without breaking the bank.
It started with one heavenly pair of slacks ... that I wore for nearly two weeks straight. Now that part I hated, it ate me up that every morning I was putting on the same pair of pants. But I just hadn't found anything else that I liked yet and they felt like sweat pants to me so I said screw it and put them on every morning anyway. I tried my best to mix up the tops, blazers and accessories to hopefully disguise the fact that I was wearing the same stinkin pants everyday.
I was so thrilled when my team at work said they didn't even notice after I felt it was necessary to finally confess - and trust, they're brutally honest people. So I had made it work! And the best part? Every top and jacket that I wore were all my regular clothes. That meant so far, this steal of a deal at Motherhood Maternity on the sale rack for $29.99 had really been all I needed for weeks! I was pumped!
But, alas, I had admitted my one pant wonder which meant my team was taking notice and at that point was truly tired of just one option. Not to mention I am growing and soon will start to stretch out my regular tops so I've started to hunt for more. The dresses all have decent options yet that would require me to wear tights since it's winter and although I purchased a few maternity pair they still were anything but comfortable on the stretched belly. As soon as the weather breaks, I will be living in dresses, can't wait! I've scored the best at ASOS Maternity and Ann Taylor Loft Maternity (when they have their big sales and markdowns). They've been my favorite so far for the "normal work attire" options I've been looking for.
I am very happy for the lesson I stumbled upon - I can make this work and I can look fab at work and not pay a fortune. Needless to say I became addicted and am now enjoying putting together my new work wardrobe (slowly and sensibly)!
I am very happy for the lesson I stumbled upon - I can make this work and I can look fab at work and not pay a fortune. Needless to say I became addicted and am now enjoying putting together my new work wardrobe (slowly and sensibly)!
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Biggest Pregnancy Fear
We'll skip the obvious pregnancy fears. Some say the more you talk about them the less scary they get. The more you learn the less you'll be afraid. Maybe, maybe not. I think we all know the major fears and no need to be over dramatic by talking about them - yes a watermelon through a lemon is complicated and scary but it is what it is so let's move on.
Aside from the obvious, my biggest fear is that my belly button is going to pop out. No, I'm serious. If it does I truly feel I will crumble. For those of you who don't know, I have an extreme paranoia of belly buttons. And for those my entire life who told me I was crazy, I'm not the only one - the phobia is a "real" thing. Read about it here.
My fear stems from mine hurting intensely if it's touched. If it's poked hard enough I will puke, no joke. If something gets in there and I have to get it out, trust me not only is it a very stressful and traumatizing moment for me, but also very painful and it gets very red and swollen. So if it were to pop out, it will be vulnerable to getting touched all day every day and I cannot even imagine how painful that would be for me. Doctors have all told me it's more than likely some nerve damage and wished me luck since there's nothing that can be done. Great.
I've been warned, by everyone so please don't feel the need to remind me, that it's very likely it will happen. Everyday I look at it and sure enough it's getting stretched out more and the inside is getting closer and closer to the surface. It also slightly throbs every few days which I attribute to the stretching. Then there's the issue of kicking by ninja Baby Bailey. I just know she's going to kick it square in the middle and I have no idea how it will feel since it's never happened before but I'm guessing not good at all.
So here's hoping it stays put and if it must pop that it actually cures my issue by some strange miracle. I've lived with it all my life now so it would be good to have it magically go away!
Aside from the obvious, my biggest fear is that my belly button is going to pop out. No, I'm serious. If it does I truly feel I will crumble. For those of you who don't know, I have an extreme paranoia of belly buttons. And for those my entire life who told me I was crazy, I'm not the only one - the phobia is a "real" thing. Read about it here.
My fear stems from mine hurting intensely if it's touched. If it's poked hard enough I will puke, no joke. If something gets in there and I have to get it out, trust me not only is it a very stressful and traumatizing moment for me, but also very painful and it gets very red and swollen. So if it were to pop out, it will be vulnerable to getting touched all day every day and I cannot even imagine how painful that would be for me. Doctors have all told me it's more than likely some nerve damage and wished me luck since there's nothing that can be done. Great.
I've been warned, by everyone so please don't feel the need to remind me, that it's very likely it will happen. Everyday I look at it and sure enough it's getting stretched out more and the inside is getting closer and closer to the surface. It also slightly throbs every few days which I attribute to the stretching. Then there's the issue of kicking by ninja Baby Bailey. I just know she's going to kick it square in the middle and I have no idea how it will feel since it's never happened before but I'm guessing not good at all.
So here's hoping it stays put and if it must pop that it actually cures my issue by some strange miracle. I've lived with it all my life now so it would be good to have it magically go away!
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