First Anniversay - Reminicing on our Wedding Day

Since I'm 10 months pregnant on our first anniversary and can't really do too much, we spent a good chunk of the day hanging out and reminiscing on our wedding day. Now I remember why I never put it in the blog - there are SO many pictures and stories it was overwhelming trying to put it all together. But in honor of our special day I decided to narrow it down to just the favorites that I felt represented our wedding day/trip well. You can see most of the others, including pre and post wedding fun and the honeymoon on our Flicker account by clicking here (tip, be sure to select "albums" in order to see them in a more organized way), but here are my favorites from that day... 

Not really a wedding shot but this picture represents something that I loved the most about our wedding. This was the morning of our wedding, just hours before the festivities began. Nate was off with the guys snorkeling and I was with my MOH and bridesmaids relaxing at the pool (missing Julie who was caring for her 5 week old at this moment!). It reminds me of how much we wanted to focus on truly enjoying the moments, relaxing, and taking it all in and this picture is a great example of how we achieved just that. Never did I think that just hours before walking down the aisle I would be chillin at the pool on a beautiful island with my sisters. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

Threw this in for fun - the guys mocking us the day after the wedding :)

Such dapper dudes! I would like to thank Cassie who reminded the guys that they had to stop snorkeling because they were about to be late for pictures!

Wanting to honor our grandparents that are no longer with us, I wore my grandmother's earrings and my very first piece of real jewelry - the gold bracelet my grandparents gave me when I was little.

Takes a village to get you ready I tell ya! High fives for a secret reason only the girls in that room know about ;)

Loved the view, my dress and my hair - done by no other than Julie of course!

All ready to head to "first look" photos!

At first I wasn't so sure about doing first look photos because I felt I would miss the traditional moment when he sees me come down the aisle. But I'm happy we did it this way. There was still that wow factor, we saved time by doing the photos in advance and got a chance to have a few private moments before the ceremony. Plus we wanted beach shots not at the hotel and it would've been a pain and a lot of time trying to get everyone to a separate beach after the ceremony. If anything, I feel like it added to the experience rather than taking anything away.

I'll never forget how awkward taking all these pictures was! Nate and I just aren't that good/into it but we had fun anyway mostly by telling jokes and laughing at ourselves which I'm sure made the task more difficult for the photographer!

Loved this private moment and walk ... until some kids ran across my train to get to the water. Little jerks.

Getting this shot with the veil not over my head was a huge accomplishment let me tell you!

This is what kept happening, which ended up being a really cute shot. About 10 seconds after this shot a gust of wind came and shoved the veil in my mouth, choking me. Not so graceful as this picture leads you to believe.

Love the love.

Heartbreaking moment - our niece Alaina wanted me to pick her up but I couldn't risk it with the dress since it was before the ceremony. I felt like a horrible auntie when she just couldn't understand why I wouldn't cuddle and pick her up.

Nate: "my turn!"

Best Man badge was ever present the entire trip!

Love my MOH!

Always breaking into a dance party.

Break from the seriousness. We're still 10 at heart :)

My absolute favorite picture of my girls. This picture just makes me feel their love and support everytime I look at it.

Cute candid moment leaving the beach.

Alaina was more interested in getting into the fountain than taking a picture in front of it. She could not get enough swimming time the entire trip!

Honoring Nate's grandparents that are in heaven - his Grandfather's ring passed down to him and his Grandmother's bible to carry our rings out.

Not one pedal dropped by this flower girl. Just a mad dash down the aisle :)

Nate's dad giving our reading.

Sealed with a kiss!

This one solely because of Nate's expression.

So much gratitude and love for our entire group that made the trip with us!!

We did it!!

I love all the silly pictures we ended up with, especially this bromance moment with Terry in my veil. While silly, this picture is another example of another big thing I loved about our wedding trip. We were combining my friends from MI with Nate's friends from MI, my friends from DC with Nate's friends from DC, most of which had never met before. I knew everyone would have a good time but the way our friends bonded on this trip was an unexpected surprise and couldn't have made us happier. Here's to our "vacation club"!

The exact spot where Nate proposed, featuring THE palm tree!

We're so cool. Really hope our kids agree one day.

Megan brought the tears during her speech, naturally. No one will fully understand what this woman means to me, I love her so much! When they gave my big brother Brenden a mic I was confused. Didn't know he had wanted to give a speech as he's not typically that kind of guy. I about died when I realized he wasn't giving a speech. Instead, he was reading a letter I had him write when I was 4 years old to my first crush - Michael J. Fox. My brothers had saved all these letters I had written to bring them out as a surprise on my wedding day. So hilarious and precious at the same time!

Enjoying the Best Man's speech. Nate and Jonathan's bond is definitely as strong as could be, a true brotherhood. Jonathan surprised us all by following up his awesome speech by singing "It Had to be You" flawlessly. I'll never forget it!

Dancing during the instrumental piece.

Again, proof of our coolness. Also reminds me of that bustle that just would not work. We finally just said to hell with it and tied the stinkin thing up and around my waist. Meh, didn't care at that point!

Matty Ice in all his glory.

It was definitely party time!

What wedding doesn't end with the wedding party in the pool?!

Just another example of how our wedding turned out how we had hoped - amazing, fun, relaxing and not too serious. It's all about the experiences and stories created along the way and we're so thankful for everyone that had a part in it. I just want to do it all over again, and again, and again!!!

40 Weeks ... and Still Waiting

Today marks our due date... and still no baby, womp womp. Went to the doctor today and while it looks like we're getting close to go time they went ahead and scheduled for me to be induced on 6/25. I sure hope she decides to come out on her own! While I understand the concerns of letting us go far past our due date, I am more concerned with artificially starting a natural process and its possible complications. So please please please baby girl let's get things moving before they make you!

Today also marks the fifth (week) day that I have been off work. I am happy I made the decision when I did as I've become increasingly uncomfortable, tired and sore so I'm pretty sure I would've been miserable unnecessarily. Everyone was loving the "aren't you so excited to be done with work" question. Surprisingly my answer is no. I'm beyond excited for our daughter to be born but leaving work felt strange. It's all I've ever done - worked and worked hard. So to leave work for an undefined amount of time is an unknown and therefore a little frightening for me.

At first I felt like I was playing hookey, that I had called in sick but wasn't and had some guilt that I was home sitting on the couch. Now that feeling is gone but I sure do feel lost. I just don't have anything to do. Going from running around daily at 100 miles an hour to waking up wondering how I'm going to fill another day is a strange transition. My physical activity is obviously very limited so it's not like I can be out there doing all the hiking and playing around that I would love to be able to do. I get worn out after 30 minutes just trying to get groceries. So I'm trying to focus on relaxing as much as possible and enjoy the quiet while I can because, yes, I've heard it a million times now, it's about to go away in a big way. I know I'll feel very different once she's here but for now in this waiting game I'm feeling lost.

The recent heat wave is not helping my case. I would love to be sitting out at a park reading but I melt just getting in the car. I've always been sensitive to heat/humidity but being pregnant takes it to a whole new level. Nate has always been a furnace compared to me but even just last night he was shivering under the covers while I was barely cooled off enough without any covers. Don't even want to look at our electric bill this month!

So here's hoping little miss decides to make her debut before the 25th so we can have as natural of an experience as possible! And so my sanity can start to come back...

Insomnia

Never fun when you're exhausted and all you want is sleep and then the little one within decides to have dance parties around 3-4am. Just about 4 times a week she wakes me up with her fun flips and kicks right around 3-4am making it very difficult to go back to sleep. Most times I can fall back asleep by about 4:30 but this morning is an example where I'm wide awake and by 5am and decide I should get out of bed or poor Nate might kill me for tossing and turning.

While most times I can get another hour or two in of sleep, I get up around 6:30 anyway so on a day like today it would actually make me groggier if I fell back asleep for only an hour, if I was able to at all. So I'm probably up for the rest of the morning. Nothing like starting what will be a 10 hour day with being awake for no reason at 4am. And for me, the earlier I rise does not shave off any time at the end of my day - I will have to be at work until 7pm regardless. Awesome.

Only two comforting things - an active baby is a healthy baby and this is still the most sleep I'll be getting for a very long time once she's born. I guess that second one isn't all that comforting, more daunting when I think about it, but I'm trying to make a positive spin :)

Did My Water Just Break?!

One night after work Nate and I stopped and picked up sandwiches for dinner. He plopped the bag in my lap and we drove home. Just as I was about to get out of the car I had this rush of what felt like water all down my crotch. At about eight and a half months pregnant of course I freaked.

Did my water just break?
Wait, we're just about 34 weeks that's too soon.
Oh god, this can't be happening.
I'm not ready.
The baby's not ready.
Well clearly she might be if she's coming.
Is there a chance I can pretend that this isn't happening?
Probably not. 
AHHHHHH!!!!!

These were all the thoughts racing through my head all at once. What came out of my mouth was one single phrase. Excuse the language but I'm going to use the preggo card here - in a frozen state I just started slowly saying WTF?!

Nate, my much calmer half, looked down and saw there was some liquid, grabbed the bag out of my lap and said "oh crap, did something start leaking?" Not phased by my freak out and of course found the more logical explanation in a split second, he realized the container of pickles just leaked out a ton of pickle juice all over me.

Pickle juice.
The baby's not coming.
I'm ok.
I have more time.
Close call.
THANK GOD!!!!

I finally started breathing again, held back the always present urge to cry, and let the relief wash over me (while Nate proceeded to clean up the pickle juice from the seat). Then it hit him...

Wait, did you think your water just broke?
Yes.
Don't you think you would feel it coming out of you??
What part of this have a I ever experienced before?! How the hell should I know? All I knew was my lap was full of liquid like I just peed my pants!
Well good thing that wasn't it!
Yeah, good thing, except it's going to happen eventually!

Oh pickle juice, thanks for the heart attack!

Nursery Decor/Struggles/Fun

Poor Nate. He got his "office" taken away from him in preparation for it to be transformed into the nursery. Watching him move his desk down to the basement was a little sad. Ok, I'm completely fibbing. It was entertaining - not to him, he truly was sad but I couldn't help but giggle at his "woe is me" show. The room was being used mostly for storage, not some amazing in-home office. Also, his desk was being moved to the basement which is his man cave anyway. Its new location is literally right next to the big Sparty fathead, what more could he ask for?

I've never been all that great at coming up with a vision for room decor and being able to fully pull it together, but I'm sure trying with this little girl's room. I wanted it to be soft, crystals and pearls, peachy pink and white with maybe some gray. Sounds like a mess huh? Yeah, I think so too but somehow I'm still going for it. Got the paint up - we did one wall where the crib is and a thick stripe across the room to bring the color through the room without overwhelming it. Definitely don't want that look of pink just threw up all over this room!

This past weekend we (mostly Nate) spent putting the crib and glider together. Not a fun task for him but it was so exciting to see it start to come together! Biggest challenge is this room is absolutely tiny, which would be ok except that we have a huge cabinet/hutch that is massive. It's a great piece of furniture, provides awesome storage and is the perfect height to be the changing table. But it is a giant and probably weighs 1,000 pounds. We don't have anywhere else to put it so it's either make it work or get rid of it. We decided to try and make it work and came up with this arrangement:

It's the best for not overpowering the room or becoming the focal point of the room which as a mismatched piece I really didn't want. It's a bummer that it goes past the window a bit though. Probably won't end up being that big of a deal later but right now it's throwing my slight OCD for quite the loop. I just want to cut the thing down by a few inches and would feel so much better. But it literally can't fit better any other way - and yes, I made Nate try lots of different spots. It's a wonder he didn't throw out his back with all this fun activity :)

Here's the crib:

And her new fancy lamp came in:

I'll try and retake more visible photos next time once the room is done :) But with just a few things left to get for the room and some decor projects, it's pretty much all set. So strange and exciting to think we have a little nursery in our house now!!

Third and Final!

Officially kicked off the third trimester and feeling great! Well, not great as is there's not a human growing in me because that causes challenges, but great all things considered.

My energy is slowly slipping away again and it feels like a different kind of tired than in the first trimester. Instead of sleepy I feel more worn out. Just sitting, laying or holding still for a minute feels awesome. I feel like I'm getting worn out faster with each day. That won't end well but I've been able to chug along so far. I'm definitely having to introduce more rest moments, walking breaks, and stretching at work to make it through the day.

One other complication at work - this little girl does not appreciate her space being infringed on. So if I'm sitting straight up or leaning slightly forward for too long, as I do when working at my desk, she revolts. Not too long ago we used to refer to her as a gymnast, now, straight up ninja. What used to be sweet little bumps and flips are now jabs with a purpose and scrapping limbs or her butt across my belly. And of course a majority of her jabs are directly on or around my belly button - my biggest pregnancy fear! No I haven't gotten more used to it and no it's not yet reversed my pain. Maybe there's still hope. But it has remained an innie ... so far!

This week it's almost as if she's flipped her days and nights all of a sudden too. She's pretty active throughout the day (won't let me sit still at work for more than 45 minutes at a time) and at night only interrupts my sleep once between 3am-5am instead of 2-3 other times earlier in the night. Makes work more complicated but I'm loving the longer periods of sleep at night! Here's hoping she keeps it up after she arrives (no need to snort "wishful thinking", I get it's a long shot).

So I've had to tilt back while working during her refusal to let me focus in a position that works for me but usually standing and rocking for a minute or going for a quick walk chills her back out. And yes that means some conference calls, meetings and even typing have been done standing up to calm the beast within! She still gets really active and shows off her ninja moves when I stress a little or get worked up. A tense meeting at work results in me having to hide the fact that I'm getting jabbed. Not sure if she's telling me to chill out or sticking up for me and telling the situation I'm dealing with to leave her mom alone :)

Our last checkup she decided to hide a little and they couldn't find the heart beat for a minute or two. I still hold my breath every time I go in until I hear it, so that didn't help any nerves that won't seem to go away. We heard a faint sound near my belly button and determined she had set up shop directly underneath it. This doctor was the doctor that nearly got kicked in the face the last time he touched my belly button so he was steering clear. Instead, he started pushing at her to get her to move. Nothing. No movements, no heart beat. So he pushed a little more and then all of a sudden boom! She kicked where his hand was and he nearly dropped the wand as he was not expecting such a jab. He giggled in shock and I couldn't help but feel my first "I'm sorry my kid just did that to you" moment. Her heart was heard loud and clear after that!

After our checkup came the hospital tour - informative and helpful while also being completely terrifying. Overall it made me feel more comfortable just seeing everything and becoming a little more familiar with it - what our room will look like, where Nate gets to sleep, thank goodness there's a bench in the shower, wow those pillows really do look like they suck, and all the suggested items to bring (i.e. pillows!). I also learned what are red flags to security. Trust me, I'm the one who would go walking down the hall with my new baby in my arms not knowing that would get me detained by security. Baby must always be in the cart, got it.

But seeing the machines, all the rooms, and where we would go for all the "what-ifs" just made it more clear how crazy and scary of an experience this is about to be. I'm amazed I didn't pass out. You see, there was this one time when my dear friend Aly had her baby. I went to visit her. I saw her. I saw the baby. I realized holy crap that baby just came out of her. I passed out. I'd like to think I did ok on this tour because I'm older and "wiser" now and will be able to handle this like a champ. A phrase I will keep repeating to myself over and over until we're there. No turning back now!

T2 in Review

Second trimester was pretty good to me, can't complain at all really. Energy came back a little which was a good relief and my streak of no nausea has continued through today even. Then the best part so far which has been feeling her moving around. What a strange and amazing feeling all at once! Little bumps here and there and then I started to recognize a pattern. She likes to do her gymnastics as I call it between 9am-11am, 7pm-9pm and 3am-5am. There's moving in between but those are the hours where she must pretend to be swinging on the uneven bars! Oh, and anytime I get stressed or worked up. That's real convenient. Being worked up about something and then let's add some flips and bumps from the inside out. Awesome.
 
We had a little scare when she decided to stop moving ... for practically two days. One day she was crazy active all day. Then the next day I only felt her slightly twice (typically it had been about 20 times a day I would say). Concerned, but thinking maybe she was just resting after quite the active day I went on with my normal routine. The next day - same thing. Then I got a little worried but late in the day I felt one little tug and decided to see if she would do her fun "let's wake mom up at 3am and not let her go back to sleep" routine. When my alarm woke me up at 6:30am the next day I was worried. Went into work and still nothing so I decided to call in to the Dr. to see what they thought. Their response - you need to have an ultrasound within an hour and your husband needs to be with you. To say my stomach dropped is an understatement. In pure panic, but somehow I managed to keep it controlled panic, told my office I had to go in quick to see the Dr. and got Nate to meet me. I don't think I was really breathing until her little flickering heart came up on the screen and all was well.

So what happened? Not sure. They think she just got in a position she loved and passed out for a few days. While very normal to have some inactive days, the dramatic and fast decrease was concerning to them so they decided to do another full anatomy scan just to check things out. Which was fun to be able to see her all over again unexpectedly and SO relieving to learn everything was perfectly ok.

After the scan and measurements they said "she seems to be measuring according to her due date, except for her head. Her head's measuring really large." I must've had quite the look on my face because she quickly said "no, it's ok, she's perfectly fine, there are no problems, just a big head." To which I said I know and understand, look at her father's, that' s what I'm worried about on labor day! She very quietly giggled and said "I'm sorry." Great. But it was so fun to get to see our babe (and nice to not have terminator show up again!):
 

And since then? The gymnast has not stopped moving. It's as if she's saying "oh you were complaining about me moving? Fine, I'll show you" and has been at it ever since. While becoming increasingly uncomfortable, I love it all the same!